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Saturday, December 20, 2014

SCCB 'News': Moses Threatens Movie Company

Hollywood, CA - Dec. 20, 2014

In a series of emails to 20th Century Fox, the company behind the movie, Exodus: Gods and Kings, the great patriarch, Moses, threatened plagues “of biblical proportions,” if the Ridley Scott-directed film is not withdrawn.

“They know nothing of my work,” said the angry Egyptian-born Hebrew.

Perhaps emboldened by the recent and unprecedented withdrawal of “The Interview” by Sony Pictures in response to threats, Moses has taken a tough line with Scott. Movie insiders suspect that there is more to the controversy than creative differences.

Moses, sometime political leader in the Middle East, had been involved in the early phase of the movie’s production, conferring with Scott and his production company, Scott Free Productions, over a biopic that concentrates on his political life in the days before the so-called Arab Spring of 2010.

“It’s not about money,” he told Canadian Catholic Blogger, Colin Kerr, in a recent interview. “There were creative differences right from the beginning. For instance, I called for a Charleton Heston cameo. But Scott was unwilling to meet me half way on this, since, he said, Heston had died six years ago.”

“But that’s a lot of bologna,” he said. “They keep bringing Schwarzenegger back in those Terminator movies, and he has been dead for much longer than six years. You can barely tell that it’s actually a corpse in those movies!”

Although Moses did not give any particulars about what direction his retaliation would take, he said he “wouldn't rule anything out at this point.”

“I mean there are several things we can do. For instance, start a letter-writing campaign, urge church leaders and sponsors to boycott the movie, frogs, pestilence, darkness and so on…”

When asked about another controversy associated with Exodus: Gods and Kings, that of casting Caucasians in all the lead roles, Moses simply said, “I wanted Morgan Freeman to play God.”

* My tribute to Eye of the Tiber. If you think this is funny, I might do more. 


  1. I found it really funny actually. Merry Christmas to you and your family Colin

    In JM+JT,
    Lee @

  2. thanks, Lee. All the best to you and yours as well!