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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

SCCB 'News': Orangutan Decision has Perpetually Optimistic Pro-Lifer All Smiles

Orangeville, Ontario: December 24, 2014

Filed: SCCB Staff

Despite the cold December weather, pro-life activist, Fran Violetta, was all smiles.

Orangeville fixture, Mrs. Violetta, whose handwritten sign and rosary have become fixtures in the downtown Orangeville scene over the last twenty years, sees in the Argentinian court’s decision to recognize twenty-nine year-old Sandra the orangutan as a non-human person hope that “one day babies in the womb will be recognized as human persons.”

“I am sure that all my friends who work over at the People of Orangeville for the Planet (POOP) will be delighted,” she said in an interview with SCCB.

When reached for comment, her friends at the POOP had been delighted to hear about the orangutan, but confessed that the connection that Mrs. Violetta was drawing from the court decision eluded them. Although it took them a few minutes to remember their friend, Violetta, whom they seemed to lovingly refer to as “that lady,” POOP representatives were more than happy to speak at length about other animals whose personhood they expect to see declared soon.

While POOP membership was divided over certain candidates, like earwigs, they were unanimous in their hope that horses, dolphins, monkeys and “certain furry dogs” would soon join Sandra with full legal recognition as non-human persons.

Star Cooper, POOP Chairperson, told SCCB reporter, Colin Kerr, that she was “channelling all the positive energy she could to Sandra and her family during this lovely Winter Solstice.”

Ms. Cooper even considered that “Perhaps one day Sandra will take my place as chairperson of the organization, since she is now a person.”

As for Mrs. Violetta, she expected Ms. Cooper and her friends over at POOP to join her for Christmas brunch to celebrate this “great victory for life.”

“They haven’t been able to make it yet, but I am sure they will come over this year. We are all on the same side, fighting the good fight. Although, they told me that they were going to leave ‘the human side of things’ to me.”

“They are always calling me a speciesist. I think it’s pronounced ‘specialist.’ Of course, I am no better than anyone, but it’s certainly nice of them to say that.”

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