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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Vote for your Favourite Cardinal

By: SCCB Staff         December 31, 2014



Berlin, Germany - To streamline matters at the Synod of Bishops next Fall, Pope Francis announced that simple voting rules shall be followed - but this will not be the voting to which these gathering are accustomed.

Vatican Spokesman, Msgr. Fred Lombard, told an excited room of journalists that "this year things will have more of an 'American Idol feel,' as the positions that the various cardinals and bishops present at the Synod will be voted on by you, the viewer, at home!"

"This move just seemed to make sense," said Archbishop Krull of Utopianova, "and is in keeping with our drive for more input from families begun about two years ago with the surveys."

"Many people felt as if their views were not represented in the 'Preliminary Round' - which is what we are now calling the preparatory meeting that was held in October, 2014," said Lombard, "This new procedure is meant to assure that that does not happen again. Why should a bishop or a theologian tell you what to believe? Let your voice be heard by texting your vote in."

Cardinal Kasper was elated, remarking "Thank God that internet coverage in Africa is spotty at best."

Visionary theologian, Hans Kung, was perhaps even more excited, stating, "This is the kind of participation that the Council Fathers had in mind in the 1960s, and which I have been advocating for years. Ratzinger must be rolling around in his grave!"

Team Germany is a heavy favorite to win in the 2015 tournament, despite being shut out by Team Africa and Team USA in 2014.

Fr. Robert Barron will host the show, which will air Sunday nights at 9 on EWTN.


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