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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Pope Meeting has Bishops Scrambling

By: Carlo Guidowendo, SCCB Italy
John Geoffreys, normal all his life, is elated to be the first normal Catholic
to have the honour of meeting with the Pope.
Vatican City - The 'pope of firsts' has knocked off another one. Global Catholic News Village Zimbabwe, has reported that Pope Francis is to have his first meeting with a Catholic during his pontificate.

When reporters asked what was so special about this specific meeting - was this a 'Catholic' or an actual Catholic? - Msgr. Buzz Gherardi, Acting Undersecretary for Vatican Scheduling said, "No, a bona fide Catholic."

"Oh, you mean one struggling with same-sex attraction?" asked an EWTN reporter.
"No, he's married," answered Msgr. Buzz.
"Like, to another man?"
"No, to a woman. They have seven beautiful children together."
"But, he used to be a woman, though?"
"So he represents a group from Germany that dissents from Church teaching regarding marriage and divorce?"
"No, he is from Calgary and works in real estate. A member of his local Knights of Columbus."
"Just a normal Catholic, faithful, daily communicant," summed up the Monsignor.
"There is no 'so'."

In light of this baffling news, bishops across Europe and North America are scrambling to find normal faithful Catholics to meet with. Cardinal Dolan was said to be scouring New York for one, being quoted as saying, "Oh, so we're doing that now? I mean, Our Holy Father is a prophet. What will he think of next!"

"I guess normal Catholic is the new fringe element."

Experts wonder if actual Catholics would be willing to met with the bishops. Only time will tell.

"They do understand that we still care about things like pro-life and NFP, right?" asked another unnamed normal Catholic. "What would they want to talk to us about?"


  1. LOL, this has to be fake news!
    Colin, did you happen to take a look at the email I sent you yesterday ?