|Carleton Student Council President, bin Drynken, calling for|
"death to discrimination" during the university's Hanukkah party.
Ottawa, Canada - In response to the recent horrible events in France that saw 12 people killed by 'a random group of mentally agitated citizens,' Carleton University stated it is going to take a bold approach to assuring that freedom of expression is preserved and strengthened everywhere.
University President, Jill Dunbark, stated that "Starting on Monday, the 'free expression zone" of the campus will be extended by 10%. This will be a real sign to those who would limit our freedoms that this is not going to be tolerated here."
This 10% increase will mean that two people - even two chubby people - can express themselves at the same time on the 'wall of freedom' where students can write their opinions down on a whiteboard next to the garbage cans in the alley behind the cafeteria.
Dunbark indicated that there will be special events to encourage different groups to feel 'at home' at Carleton. "Catholics and other traditional Christians will have the public space in front of the main library in January and February, and feminists and LGBT will have it from September to October and then from April to May."
"But there will be some rules," she added. "There can be nothing said that offends minorities and other persecuted groups as defined by the Carleton University Statutes."
Student Body President, Ahmed Mohammed bin Drynken, was excited by the announcement, adding that "The Student Council has long been encouraging freedom of thought and expression on campus against enemies of freedom like Anne Coulter, Ezra Levant and Mark Steyn."