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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Anglican Ordinariate Sends Letter

By: SCCB Staff


Ypsilanti, United States - SCCB has recently come across a document that, because of recent instances of mail fraud in the Vatican City State, had been hand-delivered to cardinals and other key members of the Roman Curia.

The note originated from the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of St. Peter, the ecclesial entity that oversees the Anglo-Catholic Rite in North America, and was signed by a Fr. Greg Carruthers. So far Carruthers has not been identified.

The note was dated November 4th, 2014, and addresses the fall-out of the Extraordinary Synod on the Family that had then recently concluded. We include excerpts of it here:

"If you pull a Henry VIII on the Church, Your Eminences, we will totally be asking for our money back. We didn't go through all these shenanigans just to end up back at square one..."

"When we talked to Benedict he assured us that the Holy Catholic Church had its *&%^! [stuff] together..."

"If we wanted to be led by human beings following the trends of the times we would have stayed in the C of A... at least they have good music: i.e., no guitars."

"just like the buck-toothed ninnies running around Canterbury, only wearing red..."

"treat sacred doctrine like cauliflower at a pot-luck..."

"...the German idiot..."

"...the one who smells like feet..."

"...an ego the size of Burke's robes..."

"...considers marriage to be as important as the bits of roast beef he picks out of his teeth..."

"We just changed the bloody sign outside of the church. Who is going to pay for that? And, do you know how tired the greeters at the back of the church are with asking the people who come in what they expect to find at this church?"

Many cardinals are said to have been 'deeply moved' by the Ordinariate's concerns, although Cardinal Kasper was heard to say, "Anglicans should not tell us too much what we have to do."

3 comments:

  1. Fr. Greg Carruthers - my husband will get a kick out of this article!

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  2. You do know that Fr. Greg Carruthers SJ, is a professor's from St. Augustine's Seminary?

    ReplyDelete
  3. All resemblances to persons living and dead is purely coincidental and stuff.

    ReplyDelete