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Thursday, February 19, 2015


By: Giovanni Nordstrum, President, SCCB Universal News

This does, in fact, bode well - SCCB.

In light of the threat of a lawsuit against a Canadian Catholic blogger that has recently come to light, we at SCCB are fully prepared to turn tail and run. This is not a matter of integrity, but of exercising that good, old-fashioned Canadian value of conformism in the face of threats by institutions larger, and therefore better, than us. It's the only way a socialist system like Canada's can work. We Canadians have long recognized this.

Just like we can't have doctors following their consciences, we can't have bloggers shooting off their mouths either. If we are going to have a system that works - whether in the Church or in the secular sphere - we can't have our leadership feeling uncomfortable. They are doing so much for us. It is our job to support them, not question them.

In this light, our editors and writers will be spending these next forty days trying to become more sensitive by thinking about where we get off thinking that we mere lay people might have valid perspectives and concerns. Our is to pray, pay and obey, as the good Vatican II Council taught us.

And here at the SCCB we are announcing that we are adopting a new model for our news service, a new modus operendi. We hereby commit ourselves to never questioning our betters: the CCCB, Salt n' Lite, and, above all, Jesuit-run universities.

Recent events have forced us to see that good Christian virtue does not consist so much in the pursuit of the pure doctrine of the Lord, as if it were light in a time of darkness, but rather in safety, caution, prudence and the occasional bit of flattery - the kinds of things that have made German Catholicism famous the world over.

And in case you were wondering, we fully disavow any support for other brave-minded renegades such as the scum who writes at Vox Cantoris, Cardinal Burke, LifeSiteNews, and any other talibanesque Catholics or Catholic organizations.

At the beginning of Lent I am reminded of Herodias and of her brave daughter, Salome, who had the courage to participate in the silencing of criticism by a person bent on causing the in-crowd discomfort. May we all be as bold in fighting against a spirit of negativity by whatever means are necessary: I suggest anonymous denunciation, nuisance lawsuits, and Twitter campaigns. We at the SCCB are prepared to do our part by denouncing any of our friends in a heartbeat if it means that we are saved from undue attention. Moreover, we are pleased to provide any service we can towards the aggrandizement of our betters in the Church.

- Yours facilitatingly, G. Nordstrum, SCCB.


  1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. the over-use of exclamation points is a form of micro-aggression, you talibanesque scum! lol

  2. "Who cares, I never get lonesome
    cause I treasure my own company."

    Davis Mac - Oh Lord It's Hard To Be Humble Lyrics | MetroLyrics

    Words to live by.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Ok, for only 40 days though. Then its back to keeping company with the likes of esteemed and serene "dissenters" such as Cardinal Raymond Burke.

    1. This either works for all of us or none of us. There is clearly an idealistic position here on this site and idealism is about power. And Jesus' forty days and rebuke of the devil is not reflected in a power approach.

  5. My first time reading this blog. it took me two paragraphs to realize the satire. I am happy to discover a Canadian source of honest Catholic perspective. DEO gratias!