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Friday, February 13, 2015

New Papal Commission on Memes

Soon to be canonically sanctioned, for its promotion of
religious violence.

Toronto, Canada - In order to deal with an internet that the local and universal hierarchies of the Church cannot control, the Vatican has instituted the first of many reforms governing the Catholic use of cyberspace.

No, the steps are not geared toward limiting pornography, but rather to the far more dangerous musings of bitter, disenfranchised bloggers.

Catholic media mogul, Fr. Tommy Rose, has long been calling for the formation of the 'Congregation of Internet Supervision,' the name he suggested in his well-known rant about 'Taliban Catholics' - "people who think they know about Catholicism, but really don't because they say things I don't like."

The upper-echelons of the Church are said to be really excited about Fr. Rose's promise to bring clarity to the world-wide-web.  Popular Canadian Catholic blogger, the Heresy-Hunter, who has affectionately dubbed Rose, the "President of the Internet," is said to be likewise ecstatic about the direction things seem to be going.

Rose hopes that the first step the new Vatican congregation will deal with is misleading and judgmental Catholic memes. He says that they are a focus of great concern to him because they generally imply in their humorous way that the only good Catholics are the ones who go to confession, detest heresy and observe Lent.

"The worst one is that one about St. Nicholas punching Arius. You know the one that has him saying, 'I came to give presents to kids and to punch heretics, and I just ran out of presents' - just awful!"

"The sooner the internet is rid of these dangerous 'jokes' the better. They encourage too much black-and-white thinking. Why can't there be jokes about the unity and togetherness, and also solidarity?"

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