|Stassen conducting research.|
His proof is rather simple. Dr. Frederick von Stassen of the U of T has exhaustively studied the data and it is all clear to him now.
Stassen, a sociologist who holds the Sanger Good-Jeans Chair of Applied Parameterizing, says that he has watched "literally thousands of hours of television" and has decided that it provides "irrefutable proof that humanity has been wrong about sexuality for thousands of years."
He says that the more you watch TV the more you will be convinced, as he has been. Stassen has published his finding in this week's issue of People magazine, a peer-reviewed journal of TV-watchers.
"You will find on TV healthy, funny people, living full, well-rounded lives, holding down difficult jobs, you know, like doctors and lawyers. And, just as importantly, you will also see that their children are perfectly well-adjusted and happy."
His finding have been hailed by scholars around the world: people like NFL commentators, fashion critics, cafe baristas and interior designers, as well as the majority of undergrads at liberal arts colleges.
"The Church will simply have to change its teachings," said Dr. Stassen, who has himself taught Sunday school a few times, and is therefore qualified to speak on theological matters too.