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Monday, April 20, 2015

Church Worst Hirer Ever: Study

By: SCCB Staff

New York - A study commissioned by Forbes Magazine has some a pretty surprising findings for Catholics. It turns out that the Catholic Church is the worst at hiring people.

Chet Hewis, editor-in-chief of Forbes, said that it was hires like Catholic Relief Services’ of "married" homosexual Rick Estridge, as its Vice President, and like that of Roger Lawler, radical sex-ed program supporter, as General Secretary of the Ontario Catholic Bishops' Conference, that put the Church in first place.

"All the organizations in our top-50 list did things like this. It's like hiring a vegetarian to run your cattle ranch," said Hewis. "It should be obvious that finding the right people for your organization is a key to success. The organizations in this list have a lot to learn."

Other 'terrible hirers' include the People of the United States of America for hiring renowned America-hater, Barack Obama, as its president - twice. Greenpeace likewise gained infamy for hiring jet-setter, Pascal Husting, as its international program director.

"Every company makes mistakes. This list is about companies that failed spectacularly to do any background research at all or to think about their organization's long-term goals."

When asked by SCCB to comment on the case of the Catholic Church, Hewis indicated that wrong hires was something of a tradition for that organization, citing its original twelve branch manager, the Apostles, as case in point.


  1. I am sorry to say that there is a bit of truth to this satirical piece. Music is the primary example. There are numerous, highly qualified individuals who study post-secondary music including classical, baroque, Gregorian chant, plainchant, etc. But where are the paid positions to bring these people into the church? Hardly anywhere. Instead we are stuck with the minority of musically talented individuals who like singing Haugen and Hass songs, or Protestant/evangelical Christian praise and worship songs on a guitar. If the church bucked up more money in that area instead of many useless projects and hiring heretics for ministers of youth and adults, there would be a better effect on the Mass and job hiring in the Church.

    1. Excellent point. As someone whose daughter is studying classical violin, I cringe at the music we have to listen to in our church every week. The music selected reflects the popular music on the radio, whiny tunes singing about the self.

  2. I see some future 'news' here in these comments.

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