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Thursday, October 8, 2015

Scholar: Grandson's First Homily 'Cute'

By: SCCB Staff
New priest, Jeff Gilligan (left).
Goderich, Canada - Twenty-five year old newly-ordained priest, Jeff Gilligan, celebrated his first 'solo' mass last Saturday for a group of well-wishers, including several members of his family.

The mass was held at Fr. Jeff's childhood parish, St. Dymphna, in the Borough, which is also the parish of his grandfather, Prof. Reginald Impressivo, world-renowned theologian.

Dr. Impressivo is the author of the highly acclaimed Encyclopedia of the History of the Catholic Church, which he wrote single-handedly, a nearly seven-thousand page tome, referred to as the definitive source on the subject, which has been quoted endlessly by scholars, and which Pope Benedict XVI himself called "an intellectual marvel that renders all of my work utterly obsolete. Oh well!"

When asked about his grandson's homily and how it stacked up in light of another bench-mark work of his, his three-volume, Theories of Homiletics: From the 9th century BC to Yesterday Afternoon, Impressivo said, "Cute."

"No, no, really, it's great how I get to sit here and listen to a guy who wouldn't qualify to get into my graduate courses talk for ten minutes about these things that I have never, ever thought about before."

"I especially like the part when he said that togetherness is better than apart-ness - he said that right? Or, maybe my favorite part was when he said that everything you need to learn about life you can learn in the seminary. Or, when he contrasted the stern views he had when he was young with the more mature views he has now."
Prof. Impressivo correcting errors in a colleague's  Dead
Sea Scroll translation, from 1956. (SCCB file photo)

At this point his wife added, "Oh, that's just professor talk for saying how proud he is of his grandson - Father Jeff! My husband can be a bit cranky at times, ever since that bout of torture for confessing Christ before those Islamic terrorist all those years ago. And, you know, he is kept up most nights fighting Satan - it makes a horrible din, you know. But you can be sure that both my husband and I were deeply moved by our grandson's, Jeffey's, homily."

When asked if this happy event would have any lasting impact for him, Impressivo said that while listening to the homily he had "actually been inspired to write a new book. I am thinking the title will be something like, Meritocracy: When Evangelization Worked in the History of the Church."

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